Meltdown in Target over Valentine's Day

I can't help but to contemplate life these days. Be grateful for things typically taken for granted. How quickly things can change and take on new meaning.

In November I was in my neighborhood grocery store, Ralphs. I needed to purchase Christmas cards for Shawn's family, and found 3 that I wanted to send to him w/ his care packages. I couldn't decide which one was best so I took them all. Standing in that aisle, reading the words on those cards, I couldn't stop the tears from falling. At first the anger came out, anger that had been inside for weeks. Weeks of hearing people gripe and complain about the silliest things. Taking for granted that they had their loved ones home w/ them and would be spending the Holiday's with them. Then the pain hit. That pain that you feel when half of your heart, your best friend is missing. When your tired of being strong and brave, and you want to become that selfish person that has their Marine w/ them and can get that much needed hug from them. I walked to the front of the store, the evidence of tears still on my face.

4 weeks later, it all changed. He hasn't received those Christmas cards. He is instead living pain pill to pain pill, hating himself inside for not being with his guys. Now I feel ridiculous for crying over Christmas cards, just because I missed my Marine, when already so many families of Marines, especially 3/5 Marines would be missing their loved one for more then just one Christmas.

Today I stood in Target, buying his Valentine's Day card. I knew before I even started reading them, that I wouldn't find a card to do my feelings justice. I sat there staring at the red and pink display, tears once again streaming down my face, praising God that I had someone to buy a Valentine's Day card for. Thinking about how for no logical reason, my Marine is alive, and in knowing how it should have been, get a small little dose of the enormous pain that would have come with it.
I look at life thru different eyes now, you can't help but to be changed by large moments in your life. I find myself being disgusted by people, to be honest a large part of those people are civi's. I also find myself being embraced w/ more love and support then I've ever had in my whole life, and it's not by our families. It's by my friends, girlfriends that make up my military family. Women that understand, who face a lot of the same things that I do. Who are there to help me hold it together, because they know that god forbid it should happen to them that I would be their duct tape like they are for me. These women are beyond amazing, it's something you can't describe, you have to be a part of it to understand. If everyone in the world could be blessed to have such people in their lives, I think we'd finally find World Peace

Most say that Valentine's Day is a Hallmark holiday, one that women like because it's a great reason to get a gift! And lets not forget about all the romance that comes w/ it! We women love the romance!
Why only one day, only one day a year do we stop to celebrate love? and even then some people make fun of it, or do it out of obligation rather then from the heart. I stood there wondering how many people would stand in this same place and pick a card, not really appreciating life, how many would end up really picking a card because it says what they feel, vs what they think the other person wants to read.

I know this isn't some mainstream public blog, I don't reach millions of people or even ten I don't think... but for those that do read this... Go sit quietly and reflect on love. Bring back that "new relationship" feeling that you might not have had in years. Be silly like teenagers again, heck make out in the back of your car, or mini van, even if it's only parked in the garage. Create your own Valentine's Day whenever you want, multiple times a year, a month or even a week. Share love, be loud, be vocal...because life is empty with out love, and life is very short, sometimes shorter then it should be. A little bit of love can make the biggest difference in someone's life.

Don't ever be stingy w/ love. It's FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!